Do you ever get stuck?

You – feel hemmed in.    There’s no way out of the impasse.    What to do, where to go.    Just stagnate?

I was stuck last week – really stuck.    I had three choices.

 

I could either:

1.           DO WHAT I USUALLY DO.

2.            DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

3.            DO NOTHING.

I was fed up of doing what I usually do in this situation – which was to be paralysed into ineffectiveness so nothing changed.

Doing nothing wasn’t going to help either.

So I decided to TAKE ACTION.

1.        I asked for help.    I asked an opera singer to come and sing to me.

They chose an aria from La Boheme – an aria where the heroine is enjoying where she is while

still being clear about the way to get what she wants.

THE WAY AHEAD WAS CLEAR.

I made a few phone calls – things began to move in the way I wanted.

2.         I decided to CLEAR OUT THE CLUTTER.

What about all that STUFF filling my wardrobe and drawers that I hadn’t worn for years or had

NEVER worn!

A happy couple of hours had me emptying drawers and filling up bin bags – down to the clothes

bank next morning, and back to admire all that SPACE.

More physical space meant more space in my head.    Really good work.

3.          DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

I went for a ‘Walk with me’ – a fabulous concept – you’re sent off with an iPad and headphones

on a walk through woods, ice houses and lakes with a soundtrack of words, and sounds –

children playing, music, waves pounding beaches…..

Then I heard John Hurt’s gravelly voice:

 

              “BOUNDARIES ARE DIFFICULT TO SEE.       

               WE CROSS THEM WITHOUT KNOWING.”

 

I realised that my invisible boundaries had vanished – my direction was clear.

I was no longer stuck.

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Are the doors closing before they’ve opened?

Are you afraid that just as the doors were opening for you and work opportunities were presenting themselves – you were seeing a bright future opening up before you, after years of hard work and study – the doors seem to be closing?     Your Phd is nearly finished but all that is at risk because pain is threatening to put everything on hold.

You have tried everything, all the experts, strong painkillers and there is no change.  Your life is being limited just as it was beginning.   Will you be able to enter the workplace at all?

This is the position some of my pupils find themselves in.   They ring me up wanting to find a solution, hoping that something can be done to sort them out.   I tell them I am not someone who ‘fixes’ things.  I am an educator – but if they some along to one of my groups or for a 121 – we can begin to find out what is going on that is getting in the way.

This was the situation that faced David, one of my students, some years ago.    He was in his final year at university – an artistic and very talented guy who was in severe pain.    So much so that that there was every chance that he would not complete his degree and would be unable to complete his portfolio for the finals.

He was in a bad way.   He rang me up wanting the problem to be fixed.   So he came for a series of lessons – I am an educator not a fixer!   He thought his future was in ruins.   He couldn’t see any other way of being than the way he had always been.

Gradually he saw that changing WAS a possibility and the doors swung open.    Many years later he is fulfilling his dreams – a success in his field and much in demand.    And WINDSURFING!   You should see the photo he sent me – a caption underneath saying ‘I never thought I would be doing this!

More on this later this week.

Why not visit my website www.suzanneduncanson.co.uk

Or come to one of my group courses – see above for info.

’til next time

Suzanne

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